you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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