oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
