My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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