i think my tv is drunk
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
