i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
