i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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