I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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