i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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