these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
