I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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