For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
