at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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