Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
