this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
