And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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