Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
