It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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