Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
