You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Verdict: uncircumcised.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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