jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
