ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
