I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Holy sore nipples Batman
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
