Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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