i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
