There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
