I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
