you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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