Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize