You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
