As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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