i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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