Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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