So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
