So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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