and she was petting her beer can
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
