yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
