One girl and one boy is just not enough.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
