Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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