Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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