Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How external is "for external use only"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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