weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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