I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
