No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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