47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
