no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
