So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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