She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
