Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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