Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You can't special order awesome
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He better not be in your backpack
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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