Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
