put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
