Jerry, you need to find god
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
