somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
