On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
