I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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