Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize