So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
