yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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