I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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