NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize